thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
