We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dear god my vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
