My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
