i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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