I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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