I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
