careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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