We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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