That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
