My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
