don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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