stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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