Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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