I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize