how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
