Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
