i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
