Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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