if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
