Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
