He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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