I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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