mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
