a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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