im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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