You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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