You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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