just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
someone owes me an orgasm
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
