He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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