Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
