did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
