dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize