He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
