I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize