The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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