went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
