Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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