Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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