I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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