I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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