i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I am morally bankrupt
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
