Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
