Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize