hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
