i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize