Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
