you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
