im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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