This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
