He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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