Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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