STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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