Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
