When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize