I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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