Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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