What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
