He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
MIDGETS
????
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize