Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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