The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
