Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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