everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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